crack

i prefer the one covered by rib though 😋 click here to listen to rib version

On the nights when the sound of the rain echos in the air 
I'd hear your laughter inside my heart 
No matter how tightly I tied our strings of fate together, they still came apart 
What a cruel world we live in

I opened my umbrella, but I couldn't fold it back 
I must have been crying 
Because the heavy rain that washed over the whole town 
Already stopped a long time ago

You are overflowing 
And my small body isn't enough to hold you back 
Before I knew it  I've become completely empty 
And my small heart  starts to dry up

All by myself, I'm soiled 
By this cracked up world 
I'm breaking apart  I can't move 
So please, hold my hands tightly in yours

Holding my breath, I tried to smile 
But it hurt so much that I started crying 
Please, no  I don't want to be tied to anyone 
By my string of fate  other than you

I tried stretching out my fingers 
Toward the dull gray sky 
Though I knew there was no way I'd reach it 
I still whispered to myself that I only had a little way to go

I'll try to tie our strings together 
More tightly next time  so 
Just a little more 
Please stay right where you are

I fell into a sea with zero vision 
Even the present is slipping away from my view 
It's so sad I cannot possibly smile 
When you are no where in sight

All by myself, I'm soiled 
By this cracked up world 
I'm breaking apart  I can't move 
So please, hold my hands tightly in yours

credit: Hinamawari

GG

just realised that the due date for report submission was yesterday, patut la he want it asap. i thought the due date was this friday 😂 my mistake, i admit it.

welp, im gonna fail my fyp so yay me 👏

*sigh

im a failure

a disappointment

and a useless person

yay.....

.....?

i wanna cry

but can i?

its my mistake

so i don't deserve it;

the right to cry

Macam mana orang boleh teruskan something yang bukan kehendak diorang? I'm so envious of those who know what they want to do. What I've been studying is not something that I truly wish for. Well, it's not like I know what I want to do now. I wanted to continue my study in architecture, but that dream was shattered, so I stop dreaming. Now I'm clueless. I don't find studying fun, I've lost all the motivation needed since a year ago, or maybe longer than that, I don't know. Right now, doing my FYP feels like a torture. I keep on procrastinating my FYP work. For god sake... I'm useless. It's my turn to present tomorrow but I haven't done anything. Dah hujung-hujung tahun belajar ni buat aku fikir ''Am I doing the right thing? Kalau masa belajar ni pun dah hilang minat macam mana kalau kerja nanti? Am I gonna keep on doing something that I don't want?" Aku masih tak tahu apa yang aku nak buat tapi ada satu benda yang aku yakin; this is not what I want to do.

I Miss You

i wonder since when, my feeling towards you
has been overflowing in the bottom of my heart
unseasonably, we walked by the sea
leaving bumps of our footprints on the sand

if we no longer share the same feeling
tell me, definitely i'll do anything

i miss you, no matter how far
we're apart from each other
when our hearts in sync greeting the same dawn
i believe we are indeed together

the wave splashes, and you push up your wind-blown hair
for no specific reason, i fall in love with you again
it's just difficult, even all the words in this world
cannot justify my whole feeling towards you

yes, if i can have you
ah, even if i have to push myself, i'll be there

i miss you, i want you to be by my sode just a bit more
even it's a mere illusion
i wanna have you, please stay here
i'll get you so have faith in me

'busy' comes out as an excuse, but it's actually your signal of 'i'm lonely'
days we can't meet each other, somehow
i got your clue but i just pretend i didn't
now i'm not going to ignore it ever again

i miss you, for the rest of my life
together on the road i'll be on
i want you there, always by my side
i'll go get you now, so have faith in me

today, no matter how far
we're apart from each other
as our hearts are in sync,
surely we'll find the same dawn

Expectation & Trust

trust

• easy to lose but hard to gain
• easiest way to hurt someone; betray the trust given *wink*

expectation

• high expectation - both side can get hurt
• low expectation - simply means you're not trusted (percaya sikit la kot, sikiiiiiiiiit je). *my definition* *i don't give a shit if nobody, except my parents, don't trust me*

conclusion

both can give you emotional pain

I don't trust people anymore, and I'm losing the trust that I've given to almost everyone. and I'm not going to expect anything from anyone anymore. ok, that's bullshit. we can never run from expecting something from someone. well, my expectation gonna very low then.