Macam mana orang boleh teruskan something yang bukan kehendak diorang? I'm so envious of those who know what they want to do. What I've been studying is not something that I truly wish for. Well, it's not like I know what I want to do now. I wanted to continue my study in architecture, but that dream was shattered, so I stop dreaming. Now I'm clueless. I don't find studying fun, I've lost all the motivation needed since a year ago, or maybe longer than that, I don't know. Right now, doing my FYP feels like a torture. I keep on procrastinating my FYP work. For god sake... I'm useless. It's my turn to present tomorrow but I haven't done anything. Dah hujung-hujung tahun belajar ni buat aku fikir ''Am I doing the right thing? Kalau masa belajar ni pun dah hilang minat macam mana kalau kerja nanti? Am I gonna keep on doing something that I don't want?" Aku masih tak tahu apa yang aku nak buat tapi ada satu benda yang aku yakin; this is not what I want to do.
I asked the very same question to myself almost everyday since 5 years ago. The answer ? Im not a good daughter so might as well just strive to make them happy and finished this damn thing eventhough its been killing me everyday. You just gotta keep moving right ? My advice is that think of your parents later once they see you graduating with honors (which im sure you can do that easily). After that do like what hanis did, go see a career counselor to know what is really your path. its still not too late to go after your dreams baby. I love you hihi
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